My dog Shiva was a purebred Golden Retriever of English breed, with blond hair. When I used to live in Granby, Quebec, with my parents. Back in 2007, my best friend Seth, who is now my husband, accepted to offer me a dog for my birthday. I saw an add on Kijiji (That’s a site for Quebec, in Canada.) about a litter of golden retriever puppies for sale. The breeder was located in Saint–Rémi–d’Amherst, a 3 hours drive from where I lived. I had never been to Saint-Remi before.
When it was time to pick up the puppy, we got lost on our way there ! I was getting really anxious because it was close to midnight, but since I was already so close to the breeder, she said she would wait for me to pick up my puppy. I got there finally, a little after midnight. It was a large property on acres of land with a super large stable, and many golden retrievers in each stall. Shiva was with his numerous siblings in one stall that she showed me. Seth preferred to stay in the car because it was “my puppy:” so I went ahead by myself. I went into the stall and kneeled down the 12 puppies, all excited, hopping around me, putting their little paws on me. I saw one and picked it up, but put it back down. Then another one got my attention, decided to pick it up and that puppy was Shiva ! He had the cutest, tiny face, and was kind of chubby. He made me laugh because he was so cute. I decided to put him back down because I was not sure which one to pick. But Shiva went around all his siblings, came back to me and put his front paws on my knees and I knew, right there and then, that he had picked me. So I picked him and chose him to be my companion. It was a unique and fun experience.
Shiva came with all his papers, a tattoo in his ears for registration and identification purposes. (Tattoos were more common than microchips back then) I signed all the paperwork, gave her 600$ and Shiva was mine. I sat down with the owner, filed up the paperwork with her, to get him registered. While I was doing this, Shiva was sitting there, near us, patiently waiting, the whole time with a big smile on his face. I laughed really hard when I saw that.
We came back home really late that night. I did not sleep much. I held puppy Shiva on my chest the whole rest of the night. He was crying, whining and missing his family. I was petting him and holding him tight.
Seth stayed with us for a while, then it was time for him to go back home. Unfortunately I couldn’t follow him, because I did not have a visa back then. The rest of Shiva’s life was filled with exciting life experiences. We traveled and moved a lot with Shiva. When I moved to the United States, we first moved to Florence, Oregon. Shiva had a blast going to the beach and living in Florence, with us. He was a good dog. He was very loyal, friendly, and social. He did bark a lot, his bark was very loud, sometimes it was a little bit annoying (I mean all dogs cannot be 100% perfect!) but I would never, ever have traded him for anything. Although I almost lost him one time, I think it was in God’s wishes that Shiva was my dog, and stayed with me. I promised myself, at that moment, that I would never let that happen again. Shiva was a very healthy dog throughout his whole life.
He was friend Gorak, on the right, (My parents dog.) Gorak was supposed to be my dog, but my family fell in love with him and adopted him. Then i went to get Shiva, to be my dog. Gorak and Shiva were very close in age and got along very well. My family loved both dogs, so did I. Shiva was really good and would make us laugh a lot. He was extremely smart. He surprised us many time with how smart he was. He also loved to carry things in his mouth. When we used to go to the video store, he would even carry our dvds without ever dropping them. He would also carry super large stick, branches. His favorite toy though, was tennis ball. He loved those ! Being a retriever he loved having to carry something in his mouth.
Shiva loved going for walks, but LOVED swimming above everything else. Even if the river near my house, back in Granby, Quebec, was frozen over, with a small hole, he would go in to swim and it didn’t seem to bother him very much. Of course I would call after him, because I was worried he would get a cold. I did not want him to stay in the cold river too long. Throwing a stick in the water, and retrieving it was his favorite activity. We would also go hike on the trail, right outside Florence in Oregon, and he loved that. He had a lot of energy, and would get bored easily. Shiva was a gorgeous dog. I received a lot of compliments from strangers, telling me what a beautiful dog he was. He had the perfect personality too as well for me.
We had a super strong bond, me and him. He kept me warm during the long, cold, winters nights, in Canada. He would sleep in my bed and I could cuddle with him, and hold him. He loved that. I miss those moments so much. I would give anything to be able to hold him one last time. Shiva was my baby, my son, my kid, my everything. He changed my life and was an amazing emotional support dog. I had a tough life growing up, and Shiva just filled me with so much joy, love and amazing moments, I will never forget. That one dog completely changed my life.
When Shiva was 5 years old, I got the scare of my life when he got sick. While in Canada, I was giving him the leptospirosis shot to keep him from getting that nasty disease, since we went out in nature a lot. But when I moved to the United States and moved to Florence, Oregon, I forgot to give him that shot. He got sick. He got leptospirosis in 2011 and it broke my heart. I saw him get sick, all of sudden one day, out of the blue. It started suddenly. Shiva’s body got absolutely super stiff. All his body was super hard to the touch. He could barely move because he was in so much pain. That led to him not being able to drink anything on his own, or even eat. He started hacking and throwing up a lot, and he lost a lot of weight. We brought him to a super nice, amazing vet, in Veneta, Oregon. The vet was at first, confused and baffled. He couldn’t see to find what was wrong with Shiva. He decided to put him on antibiotics to see if that would help. He thought Shiva might have Brucellosis (A disease that is very similar to Leptospirosis) But the test was going to cost us a lot of money and we didn’t have it… So he put him on antibiotics, while we had to wait if Shiva was going to get better.
Unfortunately, he did not get better and was starting to get worse and losing more weight. I was in tears because i thought he was going to die and it scared me a lot. The vet decided to put him on Prednisone, a much stronger antibiotic to see if that would work, but it didn’t ! The vet was starting to be worried, because he couldn’t find what was wrong with Shiva. When he examined Shiva, he noticed that one of his testicules was much larger than the other one. So we thought we might have actually found what was wrong with my dog. He told us that the best thing to do at the time, was to neuter Shiva, out him on another set of antibiotics. This went for over a period of 6 months before he sees that there was a problem with his testicules, which we had not noticed before. We decided that it was in his best interest to neuter Shiva and we went ahead with the surgery. (Something i should have done when Shiva was younger, since i was not going to breed him anyway). After the surgery, time passed, but Shiva was still not doing better. We changed his antibiotics again, and then like a miracle, Shiva started getting better ! We believe that we actually found the right antibiotics for what he had ! The vet concluded that Shiva actually caught Lepto during a visit on the beach. We remember long after, that there was a dead whale and Shiva had rubbed himself on it. He must have caught the disease through a cut, or scratch on his testicules.
We were so thrilled that we found out what he had ! The antibiotics took about 3 months to eradicate the disease. That is because Leptospirosis is extremely difficult to diagnose. It mimics similar other diseases, and the disease is really good at hiding in the animal’s body, and avoids any kind of medication. In the wild, marine animals are more likely to get the disease, and die from a slow, painful death.
On the pacific coast, it is extremely important to give your dog, the Lepto shot, if you are going to bring your dog to the beach, or on a trail. You want to avoid this horrible disease at all costs. It was a horrible, long, experience for us. Shiva was sick for almost one year, before we got rid of the disease. There even was a small chance that it could come back later, but luckily, it never did. We are thankful for Veneta vet, who helped us with our dog and that we got to enjoy many more years with him.
Shiva got to enjoy many more years after that. He was never the same dog, but he was the perfect dog to me. He would weigh on super easily after that and it was hard to keep it off of him. Even if I would walk a few miles a day with him and go to the dog park everyday, for him to get exercises. A few years later, while digging holes at the park, to find mice, Shiva tripped over a hole and tore his ACL. That seems to be a common incident with active dogs. We went to CSU, in Colorado, a super well known vet school, but they did not want to do the surgery because they said that Shiva was too old. It really annoyed me and my husband, because I know that other places in other states could and would do the surgery. CSU told us that there are a lot of scar tissues and with rehabilitation, Shiva wouldn’t need the surgery. Which was false. He did heal and was able to walk almost normally for a while.
But then, he tore the whole thing one day and was not able to put any weight at all on it. It was too late to repair it, because by that time, Shiva was 15 years old. Nobody would do surgery on a dog that old. So Shiva became paralyzed, his back legs lost all muscle mass and became atrophied. I couldn’t watch him like this any longer. So i had to make the hardest decision, i never had to make. In September 2020, I decided that it was time for my baby boy to cross over the rainbow bridge.
I cried, and cried and cried my eyes out until I couldn’t cry anymore. I had lost my best friend and I felt totally empty inside. My heart was broken into a million pieces. I knew Shiva was in pain and I couldn’t watch him suffer any longer. I will never, ever forget you, baby boy. Forever and always, Shiva. Mom’s heart is with you and I will see you again.
The hardest thing about owning a pet, is having to make the decision that their time has come. Even if we don’t want to part way with them, sometimes it’s just the best decision that we could make for them, to end their suffering. It is not a good life to watch them suffer, day after day. They don’t have a voice and the ability to choose for themselves. While it’s not an easy decision to make, sometimes it’s just the best choice, when the quality of life of the animal is none. I know there are people that have a hard time to make that decision, because they don’t want to be guilty of making that decision and ending their pet’s life. They want their pet to live as much as they can, even if that mean that the pet has no quality of life and suffer in silence. I know and i understand that completely. I always hoped my pets would die of old age, so i would not have to make that decision. But like us humans, pets can get sick with cancer, disease and a whole bunch of things that we can’t control. We owe it to our pets, after the life they gave us, being loyal, loving, and giving us companionship that we at least, owe them to go in peace and not suffer anymore. I could not watch Shiva, being this way. I owed it to him, to make the end of life, easier and peaceful, like he deserved.
I had to make that decision and it’s so hard. The loss of our pet is heartbreaking. We feel like we will never get over it. With time, we do. It takes a lot of time. It’s not easy and it’s not a one day thing. Our heart finally slowly heals, even though our pet is in it forever.
There is a bridge connecting Heaven & Earth.
It is called the Rainbow Bridge because of its many colors.
Just this side of the Rainbow Bridge there is a land of
meadows, hills and valleys with lush green grass.
When a beloved pet dies, the pet goes to this place.
There is always food and water and warm spring weather.
The old and frail animals are young again. Those who
are maimed are made whole. They play together all day.
There is only one thing missing: They are not with
their special person, who loved them on Earth.
Each day they run and play until the day comes
when one suddenly stops playing and looks up!
The nose twitches! The ears are up! The eyes are staring!
And this one runs from the group.
You have been seen, and when you and your special friend finally meet,
you take him or her in your arms and embrace.
Your face is kissed again and again, and you look once
more into the eyes of your trusting friend,
so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross the Rainbow Bridge together…”